Waking: Memoir Part 2

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 How one handles pain and injury demonstrates character…. Rather than stay home and milk my mother for special attention, I choose to return to school, to show the other kids and especially my teacher that I was tough, that I could handle a little pain and return to life as usual. In retrospect, it feels like a blueprint for the future (44).

This particular quote really resonates with me because it speaks to the power of perseverance and to one’s ability to see pass present hiccups towards the bigger picture. Upon my initial reconciliation of Sanford’s words, I was somewhat baffled at his ability to decide at a young age that he was going to overcome any situation that came his way, while at the same time encouraged by his sense of bravery. Whether it was hurting his knee, breaking his foot, cracking his growth plate, or deeply slicing his finger – he made up in his mind that he was not going to let any situation get the best of him. For a young child to show such bravery and self-determination is nothing short of amazing. While reading this, I was reminded of several instances in my life where I have either directly or indirectly allowed certain situations to affect my mood and dictate how I responded. I was somewhat convicted and encourage by Matt’s intuitiveness. For I realized that as human it is in our nature to be emotional, but we don’t have to allow those emotions to override our rational and alter our character. Instead, like Sanford we have to make a conscious decision regardless of our age to rise above those situations. Thus, we see how establishing a standard or character trait follows one throughout their life. Matt, unaware that he would be in a car accident at the age of thirteen that would leave him paralyzed for life, made the decision to train his mind to separate from his bodily discomfort at an early age. This decision in turn proved to be beneficial when confronting the path of recovery.

Death and Trauma also bring questions. For starters, which family were we? An average one from a small city situated along Lake Superior’s north shore, a family who happened into some bad luck; or were we never average and always headed down that embankment? Which? (40)

In this quote, Matt does something that many people who have a brush with death normally find themselves doing – inquiring about their fate or destiny. Asking whether the path they are on now was always meant to be or did life simply take a drastic turn for the worse? While reading this, I began to ponder on a particular thought one that has been brewing in my mind for a while but never really manifested itself due to the lack of opportunity.  Although many individuals believe that a persons brush with death or serve physical trauma often leads them to seeking true self-identity. Is this necessarily the case? If so, why is death the only time people think about fate or destiny? In retrospect, it seems as though death is the time in which it is most crucial for people to discover who they really are in order to understand their purpose. Likewise, people could simply be anxious to have a sense of self-identify because they fear the unknown. Thus, it is better to have a common thread than to be an outsider in your own body. However, Matt brings another question into play when discussing this notion that death and trauma produce a more self-conscious individual. Matt questions whether ones fate or destiny changes depending on the circumstances, “What is identity in the face of radical disruption? “(40). For instance, before his accident Matt was an avid athlete. He loved to play sports. Thus, he possibly envisioned himself playing professional baseball in the future. After the accident occurred the destiny that he had envisioned for himself (playing some type of sport) no longer existed because he was now paralyzed.  Matt then questions whether his life before was meant to prepare him for his life now. Like Matt, I think that we all regardless of the circumstances wonder what fates hold for us and whether that fate can or will be altered by life’s interruptions. Such a question might be common for others as well. Throughout my life, I have often wondered whether fate and destiny were synonymous or if they were separate entities. Thinking about it perplexes me. However, after a while I realized that fate and destiny are in fact different. In my opinion, fate is the process or journey that one must go on in order to reach their destiny. Thus, destiny is the actual arrival or destination.